American Physical Society
APS PhysicsAPS JournalsPhysicsCentralPhysical Review Focus
 
Become a Member | Contact Us
  • Publications
    • Journals of the American Physical Society
    • APS News
    • Physics Today
    • Physical Review Focus
    • Capitol Hill Quarterly
    • Other APS Publications
    • Reciprocal Society Newsletters
  • Meetings & Events
    • March Meeting
    • April Meeting
    • Other APS Meetings
    • Meeting Calendar
    • Abstract Submission
    • Archives of the Bulletin of the American Physical Society
    • Policies & Guidelines
    • Archived Multimedia Presentations
  • Programs
    • Education
    • International Affairs
    • Physics for All
    • Women in Physics
    • Minorities in Physics
    • Prizes, Awards & Fellowships
  • Membership
    • Join APS
    • Renew Membership
    • Member Directory
    • My Member Profile
    • Member Services
    • APS Units
  • Policy & Advocacy
    • Issues
    • Reports & Studies
    • APS Statements
    • Advocacy Tools
    • Advocacy Resources
    • Inside APS Public Affairs
  • Careers In Physics
    • Employment Opportunities
    • Student Guidance
    • Educator Guidance
    • Career Guidance
  • About APS
    • History & Vision
    • Society Governance
    • Support APS
    • APS Jobs
    • Contact Us
    • Visit Us
Publications
  • Journals of the American Physical Society
  • APS News
    • Archives
    • Special Features
    • Announcements
  • Physics Today
  • Physical Review Focus
  • Capitol Hill Quarterly
  • Other APS Publications
  • Reciprocal Society Newsletters

 
Home   |   Publications   |   APS News   |   Special Features   |   Physics Limericks   |   Devlin Gualtieri

Devlin Gualtieri

Email | Print
In youth, his hair grew like a weed,
But Old Hubble was balding, indeed.
"I know that I ought
To make this constant a naught,
Then my hairline will never recede."


PETA was out in full force,

But not for a dog or a horse.
At Schrodinger's place
They pleaded their case
For the sake of his cat, of course.


Einstein sat all night awake.

"These equations are so hard to make!"
"With a wave of my hands,
The Universe expands,
But Omega puts on the brake."


Dr. Young was having a fit.

His optics had developed a slit.
"My grant will not pay,
So I'll use it this way."
And you know the rest of this bit.


There once was a Chemist named Pauling,

Whose predictions were downright enthralling.
"I'm really quite fond
Of the chemical bond
That I get with this sticking and balling."


There once was a Solid State Phys.

Who hated this Quantum Math biz.
"Forget all that crap, *
The band has a gap,
And that's just the way that it is!"

(* Colorful language in the tradition of Richard Feynman)


"It's here, right under your nose!"

"Just arrange the whole thing in rows."
"Put hydrogen here,"
Dmitri would cheer,
"And tungsten down by your toes."


An equal of Gordon was Klein,

And his work was equally fine.
But, lo, what a fate,
For in Physics of late,
His name is replaced by a sine!


Hadrons, leptons, bosons, too,

Are members of our little zoo.
Though in their stalls
As little balls,
They're really clouds of quantum goo.


Can there be any levity

In electronegativity?
Fluorine is high,
As are others nearby.
How is that for brevity?


The accountant was ranting and hissing!
Such an audit was not of our wishing!
But such was our state,
An astronomer's fate,
Since some of our mass was found missing!
Home | APS Jobs | Media Center | Privacy | Site Map
    © 2008 American Physical Society