Jonathan P. Dowling

There is this weird codger named Wootters,
Who seeks to build quantum computers.
He's wagered two bits,
He'll prevail without qubits,
But he finds he has many disputers.

A couple of young guys in Boulder,
Cooled their gas cloud down colder and colder.
Then with much exhortation,
They hit Bose Condensation,
And beat out their rivals (much older).

The chemist heaved a long sigh,

When his filtrate was finally dry ...
But an unstable fraction,
In a quick chain reaction,
Formed a mushroom cloud five miles high.

A quantum mechanic named Twitty,

Is trying out "Schroedinger's Kitty".
The poor feline(s) await,
For him to pry open the crate,
And then exalt in great joy -- or great pity.

McHumbug maintains the delusion,

That soon he'll be getting cold fusion.
For two weeks now he's strove,
With an old pot on the stove,
To detect neutron flux in profusion.

Our buoyant new physics instructor,
Has found a new superconductor.
He shouts, "The Tc
Is room temp -- do you see!?"
While afloat on a magnetic inductor.