Stanley Bashkin

When physics professors get old,
As thousands do yearly, I'm told,
And the question is what
Should be done with this glut,
Why - kick them right out in the cold.

Your physics proposal is clear,
Said the fund officer with a sneer,
But I can't grant you dough.
Your research is too slow -
Only one Nobel prize every year.

Relativity tells us that light
Has a speed firmly fixed. That's all right
From dawn until evening,
But who is believing
That the law can apply in the night?

Yes, it's said, with a smidgen of insolence,
That one particle's known just by inference.
We could see this small honey
If we had lot's of money,
But we won't make a particle of difference.

A young physicist, surnamed de Murk,
Had tough duties he never would shirk.
His research, near to zero,
Almost made him a hero,
But he never could warm to his work.

Come 2000, time's technical junction,
My computer may face extreme unction,
But what I most query
Is, Will I be merry
And thus prove I'm still able to function?