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Zero Gravity: The Lighter Side of Science

The Mad Scientist's Love Song

The Mad Scientist's Love Song

By Gary McGath

Do not run away as I kneel at your feet;
I come to you in supplication.
Please say that you want to be part of my life
And join me in - re-animation.

I know I should flee from your fiendish designs,
Or else I'll soon be in your power.
But life is so boring when you're not around,
So I'll go with you to your tower.

Come to my castle on the dark and barren hill.
Gaze into my eyes and I'll control your will.
Be my assistant in good times and in ill.
That's the mad scientist's love song.

You'll wear low-cut dresses made out of black silk.
When guests come, your warm smile will charm them.
They'll be so at ease that they'll never suspect
That we have the least wish to harm them.

The townsfolk will greet us with torches aglow;
If they're hostile, you'll stand and protect me.
And let's hear no nonsense of "death do us part."
If they kill me, then you'll resurrect me.


We'll run strange experiments late in the night,
And I'll thank the stars I could win you,
For after the moon sets, we'll go off to bed
And let the "experiments" continue.

I'll learn how to work with the corpses and blood,
And never will faint when I see gore.
Forever, I swear, I'll be true to your love,
Or maybe I'll run off with Igor.


The Little Spacecraft That Could

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Editor: Alan Chodos
Associate Editor: Jennifer Ouellette