APS News

January 2002 (Volume 11, Number 1)

Zero Gravity: The Lighter Side of Science

Tenureclocky

By Dany Adams, Department of Biological Sciences, Smith College, Northampton, Massachusetts
Drawing By Lois Malone (with apologies to Lewis Carroll)

cartoon
© Copyright 2001 Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) Reprinted with permission.
"She's Brilliant!" so the Ivy grove Did hire the nimble minded maid. All flimsy were her bookish robes Her bona fides displayed.

"Beware the Tenureclock, young one, Don't pause at night or flaws they'll catch. Be sure you publish blurbs, and shun The populous intro class!"

She took an undergrad in hand. Long time the grant of dough she sought. And tested she her theory. And swelled a file. And taught.

And as she published what she could, The Tenureclock, with eyes of flame, Came sniffing round for moldy wood And prospecting for fame.

"No clue what's due? You're never through!" The maid's keyboard went click and clack. She felt half dead, but pushed ahead Around the tenure track.

And did she tame the Tenureclock ? Overcome all academic strife ? She's taken her MacArthur grant And gone to get a life.

"She's Brilliant!"so the Ivy grove Did hire the nimble minded maid. All flimsy were her bookish robes Her bona fides displayed.


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Editor: Alan Chodos
Associate Editor: Jennifer Ouellette

January 2002 (Volume 11, Number 1)

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Articles in this Issue
New Hadronic Physics Topical Group Approved
Council Seeks Units' Advice in Raising All Prizes to $10,000
Latest Fusion Research Featured at DPP Meeting
POPA Issues Status Report on Outlook for Nuclear Energy
Albuquerque Will Host 2002 April Meeting
Brinkman Outlines Priorities, Challenges for APS in 2002
Passing the Torch
Fellows Hold Steady on Hill During Tumultuous Year
Sub-Panel Pushes New Linear Collider for High-energy Physics Research
First Annual North Texas Grad Programs in Physics Workshop
Letters
Zero Gravity: The Lighter Side of Science
Members in the Media
This Month in Physics History
Spotlight on the Profession of Physics
The Back Page