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Zero Gravity: The Lighter Side of Science

Why God never received a PhD

  • She had only one major publication.
  • It was in Hebrew.
  • It had no references.
  • It wasn't published in a refereed journal.
  • Some even doubt he wrote it by himself.
  • It may be true that she created the world, but what has she done since then?
  • His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
  • The scientific community has had a hard time replicating her results.
  • He never applied to the ethics board for permission to use human subjects.
  • When one experiment went awry she tried to cover it by drowning her subjects.
  • When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.
  • She rarely came to class, just told students to read the book.
  • Some say he had his son teach the class.
  • She expelled her first two students for learning.
  • Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests.
  • Her office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.
  • No record of working well with colleagues.

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Editor: Barrett H. Ripin