APS News

August/September 1997 (Volume 6, Number 8)

Zero Gravity: The Lighter Side of Science

If Dr. Seuss were a Technical Writer...

Here's an easy game to play.
Here's an easy thing to say.

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort.
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash.
Then your siutation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!

You can't say this?
What a shame, sir!
We'll find you
another game, sir!

If the label on the cable on the table at your house
Says the network is connected to the button on the mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
And your screen is all distorted by the side affects of Gauss,
So your icons in the windows are so wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary RISC.
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!

Gene Ziegler, Cornell University
See the rest of this poem at http://www.gsm.cornell.edu/staff/gene/DrSeuss.html


APS encourages the redistribution of the materials included in this newspaper provided that attribution to the source is noted and the materials are not truncated or changed.

Editor: Barrett H. Ripin

August/September 1997 (Volume 6, Number 8)

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Articles in this Issue
Department Chairs Explore Issues in Undergraduate Education
APS Selects First Two Mass Media Fellows
All of Physical Review Available Online
Physics Departments Explore Innovative Curriculum Approaches
NSF Integrative Graduate Education and Research Training Program
Rooney is Named Next APS Congressional Fellow
Proposed Tax Bill Targets Graduate Assistants
Shelter Island Conference Celebrates 50 Years
Study Shows Importance of Publicly-Funded Science to Industry
George Soros Honored for Aiding FSU Science
APS Awards Twenty-six Scholarships to Minority Undergrads
New Facilities, FELS, Accelerator Applications Highlight PAC 97
APS Views
Zero Gravity: The Lighter Side of Science
Take Physics Local
The Back Page